If your house is anything like mine, “Mom, tell me a joke!” is a daily request — right up there with snack demands and mysterious stains appearing on clean shirts. Lucky for all of us, this list of clean, silly, and downright giggle-worthy jokes is here to save the day (and maybe your sanity).
These are jokes your kids can repeat at school, in the car, at the dinner table... and you won’t have to cover anyone’s ears. You’ve been warned: some are groaners, some will make you laugh out loud, and at least one will probably get stuck on repeat for a week.
🐶 Animal Antics
Silly creatures and wild puns? Yes, please.
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador!
Q: Why don’t elephants use computers?
A: They’re afraid of the mouse.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A: A pie-thon à la mode.
Q: Why did the crab never share his food?
A: Because he was a little shellfish.
Q: Where do cows go on vacation?
A: Moo York City.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fshhh.
✏️ Schoolyard Zingers
Perfect for lunchbox notes or impressing friends at recess.
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite subject?
A: Spelling.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: The teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Because her students were so bright!
Q: What did one pencil say to the other?
A: You’re looking sharp.
Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It left its Windows open.
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🍕 Food Funnies
Warning: May cause snack cravings.
Q: What kind of cheese isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: It wasn’t peeling well.
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A blood orange!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because it felt crumby.
Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me!
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
🚗 Wheels & Wings
For your little transportation-obsessed comedians.
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she’ll let it goooo!
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: It was two-tired.
Q: What’s fast, loud, and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip.
Q: What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A: A lamborghini.
Q: Where do boats go when they’re sick?
A: The dock!
Q: Why don’t planes ever get lost?
A: They always take flight direction.
🤪 Just Plain Silly
The ones that will live rent-free in your kid’s brain.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
Q: Why did the cow go to space?
A: To see the moooon!
Q: Why don’t skeletons fight?
A: They don’t have the guts.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that’s sleeping?
A: A dino-snore!
Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt!
💡 Make a 'Giggle Jar!'
Print out these jokes, cut them into strips, and toss them in a jar.
Let your kids pick one whenever:
- They say “I’m bored”
- You need 5 more minutes of peace
- Or you just want a family laugh before dinner
We can’t promise quiet, but we can promise giggles — and honestly? That’s just as good.
🎉 Like this article? Subscribe now to Macaroni KID Katy and make parenting a little easier (and a lot more fun). Because some days, a silly joke and a list of free kid activities is all that’s holding it together 😂
